Dating advice to older gay men


30-Jun-2017 20:25

dating advice to older gay men-30

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Anyone who’s been in a serious long-term relationship knows the journey isn’t without certain challenges, and when you’re dating an older man—we’re talking a decade or more—things can get even trickier.

I know this firsthand, as I’m 25 years old, and I’ve been dating an older guy nearly 15 years my senior for almost four years.

Evolutionary psychologists say that relationships like this often occur because while fertility lasts only from puberty to menopause in women, it starts at puberty and can extend long into midlife for lots of men.

That means there’s a strategic advantage for women to snag an older gent—he’s had more time to accumulate resources and stability than his younger counterparts, which could make him a more viable partner and father.

Bette Davis used to say, "Getting older ain't for sissies." Amen!

Neither is dating at midlife — especially if you're a gay man. But don't let that be your excuse for sitting home on Saturday night watching reruns of The Golden Girls.

While you figure out the math, let me be clear that I’ve met several other women in their early- to mid-20s who also prefer to date from a much older pool for various reasons.

Check out sites such as that can help you find long-term relationships versus flings or hookups.

Especially at this stage of life, why would you want a relationship that doesn't bring you happiness?

I can think of something far worse than being single, gay and older. Dave Singleton works for AARP Publications and has written two books and numerous columns on dating and relationships.

You recognize dysfunction and mismatches faster now than you did when you were younger.

But that doesn't mean you should be rigid and inflexible. Chat with a guy who isn't your "type" and stretch your boundaries.Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.



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